August 2010
1 post
Bullshit Story #11
The pieces you left inside of me have shattered and splintered into undetectable fragments, lurking in my blood stream. Every scream echoes your own. I don’t want you inside of me like this. I opened up my wrist and tried to cut out every speck of you. This is not my blood on my floor. This is yours. Take it back, It is poison and it is killing me. I close my eyes knowing that you will not be...
September 2009
1 post
Bullshit Story #10
After you left me here, every breathe i drew pulled the walls in closer. I dared to live without you, and the room fought against me, suffocating me with each gasp. With every inhale the four walls encroached upon me, and in an effort of concession, i sat, legs pulled to my chest so as to take up as little room as possible, and i let the walls close in. With my suicidal breathe i whispered that i...
August 2009
2 posts
1 tag
Bullshit Story #9
the sun was rising behind us, but we were certain that we could outrun it. hand in hand, we dodged tree branches and rocks, trying to stay in the cover of darkness for just a moment longer. Enough time for one last kiss before the day began without us. This was our last night, the last time we would be able to search for each others gaze under the starless suburban sky. You squeezed my hand, and...
Bullshit Intro #6
Were we ever that young? Between blurry beer soaked memories did we ever find time to paint each others nails and talk about boys? If we clear the smoke that blinds our past, was there ever a game of jump rope or a bike ride to the baseball field? Was it before or after the vodka that we lost our innocence?
July 2009
4 posts
1 tag
Bullshit Lyrics #6
i can only hear this to the tune of Amsterdam by the Dresden Dolls.
with surgery like precision she pulls out her heart and makes her first incision knowing it isn’t smart blood covered gloves preform the ungodly act removing offending love leaving only veins intact and with a hint of a smile she sews herself shut chokes back the bile bubbling in her gut soon the villagers came pitchforks...
1 tag
Bullshit Lyrics #5
this is the most upbeat and fun song i’ve written. so much fun to sing.
pretty words can’t mend a broken heart the veins get tangled and twisted i told you he’d leave, but you had insisted that this boy was different time may heal wounds but the tissue still scars shattered and bleeding this once was your heart and now i’m holding your hand again consoling this friend...
1 tag
Bullshit Conversation #2
Boy: I knew from the moment i saw you. You were beautiful. Your mascara tumbled past blush and lipstick, landing in a puddle on your chest, then you looked at me and cried harder. I didn't know who you were, but i fell in love. It's been three years since then. Three years of waiting in hospital emergency rooms, wondering if this would be it. if this would be the time when you took just one too many of whatever you were currently self medicating with. Three years of finding you passed out on the kitchen or living room floor. three years of holding your hair back when the withdrawals were too much, and three years of finding you with another god damned needle. I've loved you through every second of these three years.
Girl: Why?
Boy: Because I feel like i deserve it. I'm not a good person, i never was. And maybe this is God's way of making me pay for every life i ruined.
Girl: He's punishing you by making you take care of me?
Boy: no. he's punishing me by making me love you.
Bullshit Story #8
The grass reached out to us from the dirt, trying to stop us for one second, maybe to warn us. Maybe if we had just slowed down, the crunching grass and laughter would have been replaced with a message from the howling wind: we should not have been there together. But when you pulled me down into the rain soaked ground and kissed me, any possible alerts would have been ignored. You were kissing...
June 2009
4 posts
Bullshit Intro #5
i was never good at the little things, like brushing my hair and tying my shoes. breathing has always been the hardest. every constricted breath catapults me into another few moments of life, however reluctant i am. my mind follows its own selfish agenda by forcing its vehicle to continue on in its existence, while my input disappeared years ago. my lungs breathe, my legs walk, but i keep as far...
1 tag
Bullshit Collection #1
collection of lines i’ve never done anything with.
“i love the days like this, where the glaze is renoved fron your eyes and you’re who i remember.”
“They paint the sky with their numbers”
“My body I give to the suburbs”
“Eyes full of tears, they thank me.”
“How could I have known where he grapevine withered and died”
...
“a year without her. 12 months. 52 weeks. 365 days. 8,760 hours. 525,600 minutes....”
– Bullshit Quote #6
“I scream at night to make things right.”
– Bullshit Quote #5
May 2009
5 posts
1 tag
Bullshit Lyrics #4
she is walking on broken sidewalks past busted windows to lying lovers and carrion crows the cancer grows, the cancer grows she is walking on mindless bodies past memorial graves to famous funerals and darwin days the needle saves, the needle saves Everything is better behind closed minds happy endings in her head Roses smell sweeter when you’re blind in dreams they’re a brighter red...
1 tag
Bullshit Intro #4
everything felt wrong. It was too light for one a.m., and the grey light skewed everything it touched into a ghoulish caricature of itself. The streets were vacant, and all nocturnal creatures had quelled their stirring, leaving no proof of their existence. There were no signs of life, but she heard the cacophony in her head. Every second of the last four months played simultaneously in her mind,...
1 tag
Bullshit Lyrics #3
most of this was frankensteined together from my ongoing list of phrases i like.
rest my worries on the shelf killing time by killing myself a solitary cigarette clears my mind hope tomorrow will be kind i pull the covers tight close my eyes and take flight dreaming of wonderland of an hourglass with infinite sand Don’t wake me with summer the sun in my mind is warmer Don’t wake me...
“i have been swallowing my emotions for so long that my stomach can’t hold...”
– Bullshit Quote #4
Bullshit Intro #3
She fell in love with faded photos, smeared writing, chipped statues, and misheard lyrics. She smoked for the cancer to take her away to a place where she was always on time, hair and make up done, with a smile on her lips. She got high to ignore the rips in her jeans, the stains on her shirt, and the tears in her eyes. and she drank to forget me.
April 2009
13 posts
Bullshit Story #7
We were walking to paradise. Our steps in tandem, and our hands intertwined. We could smell ambrosia and hear music coming from the path ahead.Somehow along the way I lost you. Your hand slipped away from my grip, I turned and you were gone. Now I’m walking down this dirt road, and the clouds constantly tease rain. I keep my eyes focused on the horizon, but it never draws near. I have...
Bullshit Intro #2
At the sound of the alarm i wipe away the gossamer haze of dreams and crawl back into my life. It is an uncomfortable fit, too small and too constricting, but i force myself into it and find that its limitations simultaneously choke and cradle me. No breathe seems to satisfy, but at least i don’t have to stand on my own.
“i collect imperfections like baseball cards.
i’ll trade you Joe Jackson...”
– Bullshit Quote #3
“I take dark alleys at night and wear dark clothing when walking along busy...”
– Bullshit Quote #2
1 tag
Bullshit Story #5
the smoke slowly meandered, drifting upward from her parted lips and his eyes followed until it disappeared into the starless night. he dropped his gaze back down to meet her eyes, black as the midnight sky. and he felt the agonizing pain in his chest as her lips turned upward to a smile. He saw her mouth something, but his heart pounded and echoed in his skull, protecting him from the malicious...
1 tag
Bullshit Story #4
I feel like I’m trapped inside my own body. there’s so much inside me, so many hopes, dreams, secrets, and ideas that they’re clawing at my insides to get out. I think about an idea for a song and i get a pain in my chest. i pull out my guitar and hope that it can somehow be transmitted through my touch, that i’ll feel the relief and rush of endorphins and my fingers will...
Bullshit Intro #1
years ago the first life crawled out of primordial ooze. This is where the trouble begins. Not with molestion, divorce, or pills. My trouble began long before me, and will survive my death as well as the death of millions of others. There is no catalyst in our lives that catapolt us into turmoil. In this i am a firm beleiver.
1 tag
Bullshit Conversation #1
Boy: I... I'm falling in love with you.
Girl: No you're not.
Boy: yes, I am. I love you. And I know that you feel the same way. something inside of you, something you tried to kill a long time ago, is telling you that you actually feel something. It's weak, but once you acknowledge it, it can grow. you can love me.
Girl: Look, i'm flattered that you think that you like me, but i'd rather not talk about this.
Boy: you can't keep running away from your life. you can't pretend that all the unpleasant things don't exist. you can't just filter out everything you don't agree with. People die, people fight, they talk about you behind your back, they hate, and they fall in love, whether or not you choose to believe it. Life goes on, whether or not you choose to participate.
Girl: Then why are you so adamant that i participate? what is so fucking wrong with being happy? If i got a job, if i paid bills, made friends, let people in, i would be miserable, just like you. I would come home, tear off my uniform and watch late night infomercials while silently wishing that my life were different. I would hate that life and everyone it, i would resent those friends and myself, and you, for making me live that futile and irritating existence.
Boy: A life that isn't lived is wasted.
Girl: Isn't a perfect life better, even if it's only imaginary? If you push past that one fact, into a world without any others, isn't it better?
Boy: You are truly pathetic. I can't beleive i wasted any time on you. Have a nice fucking life.
Girl: i will.
“you’re saying that things can’t work out because you’re afraid...”
– Bullshit Quote #1
Bullshit Story #3
why do you kiss me so softly? i need you to kiss me louder. as loud as you possibly fucking can, to drown out every single voice in my head that scream out every insecurity i’ve collected over the years. they’re screaming out my faults and my fears, and i need you to kiss me so i can have just one moment in my life where i’m not reminded of every mistake i’ve ever made. i...
1 tag
Bullshit Story #2
It was raining. Over the last ten years the persistently overcast rice town had blossomed into suburb after suburb, a mall had grown over night, farms were replaced by hospitals, and a starbucks decorated every corner. It was raining, and She watched the drops splatter onto her windsheild at seventy miles per hour, while the starbucks and hospitals and mall all faded into obscurity behind her. ...
1 tag
Bullshit Story #1
and now you’re drunk, passed out on the same soil that we buried our childhood in. the blood from your knee is slowly dripping onto the dirt, seemingly giving the entire field a new life. the fog lifts, the sounds of distant deer intensify, and we are no longer alone in the clearing. we are here with the ghosts of our memories, and the ground itself as it breathes in the vodka soaked fumes...
1 tag
Bullshit lyrics #2
today was a half a pack day it isnt the healthiest way but i light the next menthol and wait for my friends to call today was a full pack day but just one more and ill be okay its better than the needle or blade when nicotine comes to my aid Jack was in an accident Jill is dating Sam again Rose might be pregnant and john wont forget it but just one more cigarette washes away any regret and all the...